Hold fast to dreams
For if dreams die
Life is a broken-winged bird
That cannot fly.
Hold fast to dreams
For when dreams go
Life is a barren field
Frozen with snow."



But if a mirror ever makes
you sad
you should know
that it does
not know
you.

"I think it is all a matter of love; the more you love a memory the stronger and stranger it becomes."
"Lots of people are willing to die for the person they love, which is a pity, for it is a much grander thing to live for that person."

"Nothing which has entered into our experience is ever lost."







Beauty 
is kind, but it is 
boring. It can be
found every
where.


I’ll find you, wherever you are,  
& when I’m done with you, you’ll
wish you had never 
been born.


One of the saddest realities is most people never know when their lives have reached the summit. Only after it is over and we have some kind of perspective do we realize how good we had it a day, a month, five years ago. The walk together in the December snow, the phone call that changed everything, that lovely evening in the bar by the Aegean. Back then you thought “this is so nice”. Only later did you realize it was the rarest bliss."





The only thing that’s more frustrating than pretending you don’t exist is wondering if you do the same with me…
or if you’re really just not pretending.


I saw you again. It felt like we had never met.
It’s like the sun set in your eyes and never wanted to rise.
And what have you done with the one I love?
When I look into your eyes, I see no surprise.
I always thought it was sad
the way we act like strangers.
After all that we had,
we act like we had never met.

and you’re with me now, so please don’t leave me
never.
never again.

Her mind was like a wound exposed to dry in the air.

So tell me you love me only for tonight [even though you don’t love me. Not at all.

February 20, 2013
“My love, my love, my love. She keeps me warm.”

Why did you have to go?
You know I wanted you to stay.
Why did you let me go?
How could you let me walk away?














Sometimes I cry when I think about my friends and everything that they have done for me but I think that’s a good thing because it means that I love them. And sometimes I cry in my room at night when no one is watching but I think that’s a good thing because it makes me feel like I am a real person again. And sometimes I cry when a boy breaks my heart or when I worry too much about my grades or when I feel lonely but that is okay because other people cry about that stuff, too. People cry and it is okay and I am okay.
I am okay.


XXXII

XXVII

to the spider outside my window

Two weeks to change the world, and fourteen days to ruin it.


‘There were stars,’ he said. ‘They burned my eyes.’




"I loved her against reason, against promise, against peace, against hope, against happiness, against all discouragement that could be."


"I’m smart but not enough—just smart enough to have problems."


"Don’t depend too much on anyone in this world because even your own shadow leaves you when you are in darkness."


"It is the things you cannot see coming that are strong enough to kill you."


I hope you never have to think about anything as much as I think about you."


I love no one but you, I have discovered, but you are far away and I am here alone. Then this is my life and maybe, however unlikely, I’ll find my way back there.Or maybe, one day, I’ll settle for second best. And on that same day, hell will freeze over, the sun will burn out and the stars will fall from the sky

Everybody is identical in their secret unspoken belief that way deep down they are different from everyone else."

"We’re all lost. The best chance we got is to wander this life with the people who matter."

"Nobody has ever measured, not even poets, how much the heart can hold."


Wspomnienia nas definiują.

Ci, których najtrudniej kochać, najbardziej potrzebują naszej miłości.

8661_ffcb

3106_27ed

i próbuję nie myśleć, nie czuć, nie widzieć, nie słyszeć. może jedynym rozwiązaniem jest nie żyć?


Mogę akceptować porażkę, każdy czasami przegrywa. Nigdy bym nie zaakceptował tego, że nie próbowałem wygrać.

 A za dzień -
                        już się nie spotkamy
    A za tydzień -
                           już nie pozdrowimy się
    A za miesiąc -
                           już się zapomnimy 
    A za rok -
                      już się nie poznamy



NIKOGO NIE OBCHODZISZ DOPÓKI NIE JESTEŚ PIĘKNY ALBO MARTWY.

Nie hoduj w sobie więcej, niż możesz połknąć: miłości, uniesień czy nienawiści

.Większość ludzi używa swojej głowy nie do myślenia, lecz do potakiwania 


I can't tell you how I feel, because you'd only use it against me // I'm tired of being lied to.

i was always yours; you were never mine

thank you for not caring, it's made me learn not to expect anything from you

she has the kind of smile that says, "you don't know me, and you never will"

today is the 1st of February; the first day of a new month and a chance for a new you

love is a luxury i can no longer afford

There's a difference between letting go, and pretending you've forgotten.

You haven't changed, and you never will. I need to learn that, so I can stop letting you disappoint me.

I know it's something that you don't like to talk about, but I want you to know that you can.

You're a good actress, but that smile doesn't look real.

You still love her?" "I can't imagine the day I won't."

how many smiles did you fake today?

you're gonna miss me when i'm gone

I wasn't supposed to care about you like this

Tonight you're thinking about somebody else and all I'm doing is falling apart thinking about you.

Someday I will find someone who will love me the way I loved you.

Finding out your friend has lied to you from somebody else is such a horrible feeling

It would be nice to just go to Paris, fall in love with someone and never look back


this world is alive more than any of us.


From the first time we were drunk and looking at the stars
I knew these were not the arms
I would die in.
And when you tell me that you love me
I am praying it’s a lie.  




We will never say it.
“I love you”, I don’t think
until I am on my deathbed,
and maybe not even then.
That’s how it is with us. We trust
that one another will be there.
 I’ve never been scared
with you by my side.  
You don’t know it, but sometimes
you are the only thing I still believe in.
I’m sorry I have been so sad.
I didn’t think that you could think
it was your fault. 



I wish goodbyes were quieter.
I keep carrying the ashes
of every burnt-out love
and soon enough I’ll sink into the ground
with the weight of everything that could have been.
My problem is I always put my dreams in other people
and when those dreams come true I know
this place is not for me.
And I am always wanting to be saved but when someone tries
it always feels wrong I know
I have to be the one to do the saving.






so there are a lot of secrets
i will never tell you
none of which i decided on myself
i want to talk about love
i want to talk about the truth
but i don’t think you are listening




We are friends, but we don’t speak
like friends do. I think we are
playing the parts in one another’s lives
we haven’t quite found the people for yet
and you and I both have known from the beginning
this is a story we will never get to tell.


I don’t know why I keep writing
about someone who doesn’t exist anymore
maybe never did.


You have always been beautiful, but that was the first time, I think,
that I was sure I knew you.
And I knew you knew me, too,
like no one else does.


It has taken me eighteen months to realise
who I am without you.
Now these thoughts are my only vice.
A part of my mind believes we are the wrong people; another,
that it was just the wrong time. I don’t know. I don’t
want anything, only I’ve been wondering
do you ever find me on your mind at 4am?



I told you
to remember this would end. You said
“maybe it won’t”. Sometimes hope is a killer.




I’ve been looking for some kind of ‘truth’ in all of this


I never understood it until I fell for someone who would never love me back,
and it was more painful than anything.
so painful I forgot about wanting to die
and for the first time, I didn’t need to see inside my veins to know I was alive.


I don’t need you to come back. That would, perhaps, make everything far more difficult. I just need to know that, in some small way, I am still with you. I loved you, I love you, I will always do. This love is the strongest one I have ever felt. 





I already said too much. I already shared too much, and I want all my secrets back. I hate getting close to people these days, I always regret sharing too much, caring too much, doing too much, feeling too much.

I have been treating you 
like the bandage
when you might actually
be the wound.


It doesn’t always matter
if I get the joke.
I just like listening to you laugh.


People wonder
where I have gone
I have not left
I am simply
disappearing.



you said go
so i ran
i ran as fast as i could
until i couldn’t see you anymore
i’ve been around
a few times
but only when i’m gone
do i realize
where i’ve been

i should not have said anything i should not have

the fact that i have to choose between my grades and my own mental and physical health is really fucked up

why fall in love when you can fall asleep

do you ever look at a couple and say to yourself, “wow you guys are probably going to break up lol”



what’s the point of anything

MAKING ME FEEL GUILTY NEVER WORKS NO MATTER WHAT YOU’RE TRYING TO ACCOMPLISH

v-is:

mildspark:

relevant

omfg, this


you cannot even breathe deeply, and
the night sky is no home, and
you have cried yourself to sleep enough times
that you are down to your last two percent, but
nothing is infinite,
not even loss.


 I want to hug u when you’re sad and I smile when you’re not

aseaofquotes:

Suzanne Finnamore, Otherwise Engaged

Although sometimes you told me you were scared, you never seemed it.
The world seemed an awful lot bigger for the fear of losing you-
but kinder, too, for having you in it at all.
Now I am lying on the sofa, in my own world
I don’t think you ever saw this one
and I feel very small without you
somehow even smaller standing next to you these days.

However long the war goes on, there is only one possible winner
and the winner is you.

For the most part I try
not to believe in hope.
But when it is 3am and I wake up thinking of you, I can’t help but dream a little
of all that might be if I could only shakes these fears within a week and be free.
Between dreaming and waking I see you sleeping next to me, and it hurts, it hurts more to know what was never mine
than to love and to lose


I like the mess of these things we call our lives.
I like that you and I both have probably cried in the rain one too many times
and smiled under it, maybe for the same reason.
I like that every person we meet in a dream is a face we once knew in real life, and I like being awake at night, knowing
I am living then in someone else’s mind.
I like the stranger on the train who smiles as if we knew each other before we were ever born
and I like that there is no real order, yet we all find a place
in one another’s lives.


I smiled when you told me I was special but it also made me horrifically sad
that I still didn’t believe it


I lie when you ask if I want you to stay because you already know that I do and I already know that you have to go anyway, and I don’t want you to see me cry. I liethat I’m fine, I just have a cold, my throat hurts, I can’t sleep. As time goes on I pretend I am forgetting you.
I lie so that I can survive on my own. I lie to myself, too, that it’s better this way. I lie that ‘better’ and ‘easier’ are the same. I lie to stop myself from loving anyone too much.
I lie that I’ve been missing you since you left. (I’ve been missing you since the first day we met.)

I’d stand in the shadows of your heart and tell you I’m not afraid of your dark.

 I fall in love with dreams
far too easily.







Głupim nazywa się człowiek, który mając kochającą go osobę, odrzuca ją. Robi to dlatego, bo myśli, że potrzebna jest mu wolność, która z biegiem czasu okaże się jego największym wrogiem.
Waiting for nothing, 

Wishing for everything
But no stars in the sky to grant this wish


Is love really so awful that it should be feared and anticipated against?
I don’t think it is.

Take these broken wings and learn to fly

quote-book:

Charles Bukowski | Submitted by screamshout-anddo-laugh

I never thought this day would come
The day when you and I had nothing more left to say to each other.
No anger, frustration, but no love or friendship. Just absolutely emotionless and indifferent to each other.
Everyone said it would come.
They told me so.
They all said it.
One day, things wouldn’t matter. And everything that had happened would be nothing than just a memory. I knew there’d be a point when you’d have nothing to say to me, but, somehow, I never believed that I wouldn’t have anything to say to you, either. I thought, there’d always be something. Always.
It’s like this whole time everything I’ve done or said has just been the journey away from you, we drifted apart completely. And, as I kept looking back, it was the most painful thing ever. Some things are so incredibly beautiful even as you’re walking away from them, it’s hard to believe you’re actually leaving.

Not that I ever really had you in the first place but, I don’t need to cling on to this irrational dream.


You’re just you. So close and so far away all at the same time, but what killed me inside yesterday is just a passing moment now.
I’m not sure I know why I feel like this or can even tell precisely what it IS that I feel, not fully apathetic but not filled with a particular emotion either.

 I would never have thought this day would come. If anyone had asked me about this a year ago, I would have looked at them like they were insane and probably walked away.
Things change and some things will never stay the same.


Is it ridiculous that I wasn’t able to stop smiling after I saw you today? 
Of course it’s absurd. But it’s true.  



I’ve met tons of people that are thoughtful.
But none were like her.
She was different.


When the whole world screams NO
But my heart screams yes

Little by little, you climb a mountain.
And when you’ve finally reached the top, suddenly, you’re so caught up in the moment that you don’t realize when lightning hits, and you slip, holding on to the mountain for dear life.
As if things couldn’t get any worse, an avalanche brings you crashing down to reality and you’re like, Well - Fuck.
But still, you pick yourself up, and start climbing the mountain again. But you can never get there, no matter how much you try, you just keep getting put down.

Time and time again, you slip and almost fall, but never ever let go.
Then it hits you - maybe this mountain isn’t worth the climb. Maybe mountainclimbing just isn’t your thing. It’s not the mountain’s fault, even if all the avalanches weren’t very welcoming.




I finally remembered to remember to forget you.
I hope you’re happy.
No sarcasm intended.



I can’t promise I won’t look back.
I can’t promise I won’t wonder what could have been.
I can’t promise that I will stop loving you.
I can’t promise that you won’t mean anything to me after this.
But I can promise you this,
I will not hate you for living your dream.


It’s my dream. Why are you living it?


Some things are too beautiful to let go of even as you’re walking away from them.
I didn’t wake up one day and just love you. Just like, I’m not going to wake up tomorrow and stop loving you. Some part of me believes I’ll always love you in some ways, but I can’t do this anymore.
Good-bye my almost lover, good-bye my hopeless dream.


You’re the blade and I’m just paper.
I can’t blame you
I can’t hate you
Love you too much to let go, too much to hold on.
It’s driving me insane.






Life’s just one messed up dream, and no one gets out alive.















Life is a terminal illness that can’t be cured.

You can’t
try to cure someone by taking in some of their poison.




Tomorrow I will wake up, and I will still love you.
And if you should break my heart again, I will still love you
And when I see that you’re happy with somebody else, I will still love you.
And I will always love you. 
Regardless of the clothes on your back, the shoes on your feet, the lips that you kiss, the words that you speak. 


Don’t wonder why people go crazy. Wonder why they don’t.

So, I was called “beautiful,” and “ugly,” in the same day. 
Carpe diem.



And now you’re gone and I’m broken, and I’ll bet that you are just fine.


I hate when people claim that you’ve forgotten them. The telephone works both ways, you know. It takes more than one to form a friendship, and same goes for keeping it that way.
There has to be some kind of balance.
It must be a mutual relationship, none of this commensalism or parasitism.


I thought I had everything I needed
But then I found what was missing


And sometimes I even have to stop and ask myself, why am I doing this? Why give everything to someone who’s only willing to give the bare minimum? Why care for someone who doesn’t care for you?  

The French word for ‘hope,’ is the Spanish word for ‘wait.’

Because for some unknown reason, no matter the words you say or the things you do, I will always love you.  Better yet - I’ll always love who you used to be.



Don’t you know? It’s impossible to catch someone who isn’t falling.
And even harder to catch someone who’s falling in the opposite direction.



And the sky is full of dreams But you don’t know how to fly

Me:I want to be happy
Life:I'm sorry, the item you have attempted to purchase is not in stock. Please try again later.

Pain is experience, experience is knowledge. But God dammit, I have enough knowledge.
It’s not knowledge that I feel that I lack.
It’s happiness.

But I feel like my story has already been written.
Many, many times. 


GPOY


Thanks for convincing me I’m a worthless piece of shit.
How kind of you.



I asked God to protect me from my enemies and I started losing friends…

What happens when your dreams become so unreachable, you’re forced to come to the realization that they’ll never be more than just dreams? What happens when you’re a dreamer lost in the distressing world we call our home?”


Did you say l’amour?
I heard la mort!

 I can love someone so much that I’d give my life for them if it was necessary. But yet, hate them … I don’t believe hate’s the right word here. Perhaps, very much dislike them. Because for some reason, what we love most is what brings us the most pain.

Too in love to truly love, too alive to really breathe, and too thoughtful to think properly…

I miss you.
I miss your laugh.
I miss laughing at you.
Hell, I even miss when you laughed at me.
I miss our crazy theories about the world. 
 I miss our stupid notes to each other. 
I wish you could see what my life was like now.I wish you could see what I’ve become now. I wish I could tell you everything .
I wish you’d never left.
I wish you were here.

I love you. And I’m always going to love you. But I don’t want to love you. I want to be happy.




It’s one of the worst feelings in the world and I’ve experienced it way too many fucking times.


So I’m just going to kill myself and that’ll be the end of that.




You can’t miss something before it’s gone.


I can’t get any closer if you keep stepping away. 









Don’t you dare die. I’m not finished loving you.





“I know what I want.”
“Sure. But do you know what you can handle?” 


but unfortunately there is pain that goes far too deep

Finally, you whispered 
into my ear and said
that what doesn’t kill me
will only make me stronger...
I think this might kill me.  


I can feel you forgetting me
But I know it isn’t fair to ask 
you to remember me
because if remembering me
is as painful to you as it is
to me, then how dare I ask of
you to take part in this 
self-inflicted destruction 


Is it really that it
hurts to love
or is it that I
love to hurt? 




I could never hate you as much as I love you.

“I know what I want.”
“Sure. But do you know what you can handle?” 


but unfortunately there is pain that goes far too deep

Finally, you whispered 
into my ear and said
that what doesn’t kill me
will only make me stronger...
I think this might kill me.  


I can feel you forgetting me
But I know it isn’t fair to ask 
you to remember me
because if remembering me
is as painful to you as it is
to me, then how dare I ask of
you to take part in this 
self-inflicted destruction 


Is it really that it
hurts to love
or is it that I
love to hurt? 

You can’t just sit there and put everybody’s lives ahead of yours and think that counts as love.

I hated knowing what I wanted and knowing what was right and knowing they weren’t the same thing.

You know, you’re just one broken heart closer to a love that won’t break your heart.”

These choices are not yours to make
Despite however much you might desire them to be so

“I love you,” she whispered
Time and time again
So many times that soon enough
That simple phrase became
A mere pile of empty words



But, “You can never love someone as much as you can miss someone.”
You can miss someone because they’re far away, because distance separates you. You can miss someone because you haven’t seen them in years. You can miss someone because you know that no matter how much you want them to, they won’t be here next year. You can miss someone when they’ve passed away. You can miss someone because they have a busy life that hasn’t permitted you to have even an hour with said individual. You can miss someone because they’re away for a while and you’re eagerly waiting their return. You can miss someone as you gaze upon them from a distance. You can miss someone when they’re sitting right next to you. You can miss someone while carrying a conversation with them. You can miss the people that your loved ones used to be.

Wanting to love is different than loving, and I’m scared I may spend my whole life wanting to love instead of actually doing it.
I hope to the heavens I prove myself wrong.


If this is what you think love is,
No wonder you’ve no definition of hate.



    What would you do
                                                 If you knew
                                                This was my last night
                                                On Earth?

And why is it that I’d have to be dying for you to care?


I have come to see the world very differently from this point at the edge of the cliff, living on the fine line that divides life and death but not choosing either.

Paintbrushes and pastels do not create artwork, and a shotgun alone does not kill.

The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.


Sometimes we need people in ways almost deemed unimaginable.
And when they leave, it’s never the same again.


No matter how much a thing is hurting us
Sometimes it hurts more to let it go

We want too much. From others. From life. From ourselves.

Memories are like open wounds
You’ve got to bandage them up or else you may accidently brush your bare skin against your surroundings and the wound will begin bleeding again. Or perhaps you will find yourself tempted to trace the wound with your fingertips, and in doing so, bring further pain to yourself.





What is “I want you,”
If you want everything else?
What is “I miss you,”
If I never cross your mind?
What is “I need you,”
If you can live without me?
What is “I love you,”
If you clearly don’t?

This isn’t something you can just forget. This isn’t something you can just ignore. This is real. I am not okay. I need you to believe in me, for once. Please? Listen to me. Hear me cry. Look deeper and you will see the truth.  I need you. Why won’t you be there for me, like you said you would always be?

Life is what happens to you when you’re making other plans



You will love
But you will not always be loved
You will hate
But you will not always be hated
You will give up everything for someone
And that someone may not give anything at all for you


What do you do when you’re done with living
But you are still alive
I don’t want to kill myself
But I just can’t survive


I love people too much.

I love them and I love them and I love them until I love them so much that my soul collapses.
And then I pretend to hate them.
I pretend to hate them and hate them and hate them until I can convince myself of some kind of negative emotion towards them.
But that’s not true, really.


I love them.
I love them so much.
Too much.


You’re always one moment away from doing something that you swore you’d never do.

You were right
I’m far too dependent on others and my inclination to hold on to people for the sake of holding on is destroying me.

I’ve got to stop hoping, dreaming, believing 
What good have any of those ever done for me?

Sometimes people walk into our lives and we’re certain that nothing will ever be the same again
Because they’ve changed who you are and what you believe, sometimes for the better and sometimes for the worse.

I was not asking you to come an inch closer but I begged you not to go.

I make no apologies for how I chose to repair what you broke

 Love me, because love doesn’t exist, and I have tried everything that does.


 you know very well that I love you.
So please don’t tell me that I don’t.
You  mean too much to me for that, don’t you see?
We’ve been through far too much together for me to toss that away like a paper airplane. I love you. I care about you. So much. So fucking much.

I’m too hungry to eat, too tired to sleep, too hopeful to dream, and too thoughtful to seem






Parents: What foreign language class are you taking this year?
Me: Math.

I’d do so much for my loved ones.
I’d carve their name into a mountain with my bare hands if I had to.
I’d do anything.
But, it doesn’t always feel like that’s returned. 
I’d give, say, do everything they needed without a second’s hesitation.
And sometimes it feels like they’d have to stop and consider it for a few days and maybe not even then.
Am I really that unworthy?

re fucking blog oh my fucking oh shit

Just in case you ever foolishly forget; I’m never not thinking of you."






Like most misery, it started off with apparent happiness

“It’s not who you are that holds you back. It’s who you think you’re not.”




Sometimes I think I’d just rather not feel.
Emotions are far too overwhelming.







Home is where you aren’t judged for being yourself.
In that case, I’m not home, am I?